The 20 Hottest Male Celebs According To 17-Year-Old Me

This is my contribution to What's Something Awesome You Made When You Were a Kid? (Assuming 17 still counts as a kid. It does, right?)

In November of 2003, there was a LiveJournal hotness ranking meme: the goal was to pick 20 of your crushes and rank them according to sex appeal. Before you judge my list, keep in mind that it was 2003. And that, as my friend Anna noted at the time, my taste is "whack."

20. Shia LaBeouf

This was pre-Transformers. I was weirdly obsessed withProject Greenlight andThe Battle of Shaker Heights.

Image by Miramax Films

19. Peter Krause

I wasn't really watchingSix Feet Under, but I had leftover feelings fromSports Night.

Image by HBO

18. Mo Rocca

I lovedI Love the '80s. More importantly, I loved the men ofI Love the '80s.

17. Jake Epstein

Who wouldn't swoon overDegrassi: The Next Generation's Craig Manning.

Image by CTV

16. Jimmy Fallon

Yeah, he was hilarious onSaturday Night Live, but did you know he also had an album that I bought and listened to a lot?

Image by NBC

15. Michael Ian Black

See above re: Mo Rocca.

Image by VH1

14. Adam Pascal

Would you light my candle, Adam?

13. Adamo Ruggiero

You better believe I was in love with the actor playing the gay character on my favorite Canadian melodrama. Yes, dumb hair and all.

Image by CTV

12. Chris Carrabba

I was listening to Dashboard Confessional constantly at the time. And all I wanted was for Chris to want me. For Chris to need me. For Chris to nooooootice me.

11. Chris Pratt

BeforeZero Dark Thirty. BeforeParks and Recreation. It was all aboutEverwood.

Image by Warner Bros.

10. Adam Brody

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Weirdly, I wasn't even watchingThe O.C. I just knew I loved Seth Cohen.

Image by FOX

9. Kieran Culkin

I sawIgby Goes Down on my 16th birthday. It left an impression.

Image by United Artists

8. Tom Lenk

I mean, duh. He was the closest thingBuffy the Vampire Slayer had to a gay character.

Image by 20th Century Fox

7. Rodrigo Santoro

It was 2003.Love Actually was big. Weren't we all a little bit in love with Rodrigo Santoro?

Image by Universal Pictures

6. Ethan Hawke

I was very into hisHamlet. And thus began an unfortunate obsession with jerks in douchey sunglasses.

Image by Miramax Films

5. Jason Lee

RememberHeartbreakers? What a movie! This was also during my Kevin Smith phase.

4. Cillian Murphy

28 Days Later: seriously scary, surprisingly sexy.

Image by Fox Searchlight Pictures

3. Nicholas Brendon

Really, though, I just wanted tobe Xander.

Image by 20th Century Fox

2. Jake Gyllenhaal

Listen. It was 2003. You thoughtDonnie Darko was the greatest movie of all time, too.

Image by Newmarket Films

1. Ian Somerhalder

Rules of Attraction was my sexual awakening. The dance in front of the mirror. The dance on the bed. The Ian Somerhalder-James van der Beek makeout scene. There went the last lingering thread of my heterosexuality. Good riddance.

Image by Lions Gate Entertainment

In the interest of fairness, I also ranked the 20 hottest women. It was mostly just the celebrities I wanted to hang out with: Thora Birch and Scarlett Johansson (hello,Ghost World), Jena Malone (Donnie Darko again), and yes, Daria.

20. Daria Morgendorffer
19. Emily Van Camp
18. Marguerite Moreau
17. Christina Ricci
16. Emma Caulfield
15. Charisma Carpenter
14. Allison Mack
13. Penelope Cruz
12. Thora Birch
11. Claire Danes
10. Alyson Hannigan
9. Neve Campbell
8. Parker Posey
7. Evan Rachel Wood
6. Clea DuVall
5. Julie Benz
4. Jena Malone
3. Joey Lauren Adams
2. Keira Knightley
1. Scarlett Johansson

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Article author: louispeitzman