14 Pearls Of Wisdom From Ozzy Osbourne

1. For the love of God, wrap it up.

2. Always get a second opinion.

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3. Family's great. But you can only take so much.

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4. Don't get a cat. Just don't.

5. Because unlike dogs, they don't come when they're called and are therefore impossible to find.

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6. How to deal with people in the medical professions and/or what to say to that guy you dated who "awesomely" referred to himself as "the vagina doctor."

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7. Everyone else in the world is fuckin' stupid.

8. Everyone else in the world is fuckin' insane.

9. Don't ever label something as a success unless you've smelled it and it smells like armpit.

10. Not to be a buzzkill, but this is kind of how it is. Just shut up and deal with it.

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11. The ocean fuckin' sucks.

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12. Technology fuckin' sucks.

Phones that call themselves "smart" are so arrogant.

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13. Men: It's okay to be confused. You don't always have to be in control. Ask questions. Ask for directions.

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14. Stay healthy, man.

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